behind the scenes
Posted by anas on Apr 18, 2010 in Life | 17 commentsI feel like I am on the crossroads. There are different ways and I am supposed to choose one without any help. No one to guide, no sat navs either .. just the gut feeling? I don’t know. I think its more to do with how life has changed from being a student to a fulltime employee. Not that it makes any difference to anyone but the thoughts do change, somehow. I am not talking about finances…although you do feel a bit hesitant asking dad for money but then why not? 
I do have a plan to get my dad buy me a MacBook Pro. And why can’t I buy it myself? Because I don’t earn save enough to buy one.
Anyway…that was getting off-topic. I haven’t been blogging because I’m occupied by my brain lately. Although I do look quite normal to anyone I meet, I feel like I am losing focus. But the that’s the problem. I don’t have any target in sight. Unlike pre-job days, where there was a definite ending to, for example, 4-yr degree. Thats the first of my problems.
Second, I’ve never lived on my own before like this. I mean, I have lived alone but then other things were taken care of. Now its different. I have to make all decisions, cook, pay all bills on time, contact so and so service for getting things done…and many other domestic issues which I never ever dreamt of doing. Not only that, my brain automatically shifts to my bank account when any such decisions are required thinking whether this can be managed..if not then how..blah blah
For example, I was car hunting lately and having no experience in buying a used car I needed help but then most of the people I know in the UK are just like me … i really had no idea how things are to be done…where and how…insurance and stuff…..
Now there are other people as well who could (and should) have helped me but I’ve figured out most people really offer words and nothing more. So to learn anything, you must be bitten, or not if you’re lucky. Time will tell how I fared but I am quite disappointed with a lot of people…..and myself to some extent.
On that note..I’ve bought a car..a Peugeot 206 2001 model. I’ve also bought a 32 in TV and ordered Sky Sports in HD in my prep for the upcoming season of sports. Tbh, the real intention of getting a TV was for my parents who are coming for a couple of weeks and would’ve been bored during the day when I go for work otherwise.
Umm…apologies to other bloggers…I am not following anyone, I just feel lost. The transition from life where parents used to guide me holding my hands and pave the path for me if I decided to choose one on my own, to where I am left to do all on my own is taking a long time to sink in.
Oh, and congrats to Safi for the upcoming marriage!
So please anyone..who may have been through this phase of life..do chip in with your words of wisdom.
PS. The Scotland trip during Easter break was fantastic. I’ll definitely do a post about it
I have yet to experience a situation such as yours, but I can tell you for sure you’re not alone.
This is the “goal” orientation that self-help books talk about. It’s what one needs to drive themselves to the position in life they want to be in. For you, it is compounded by the recent living-alone strategy.
My few words (which I hope dont end up disappointing you)… First, know the type of job you want to do. Then propel that to understand the career you want to have – reverse psychology.
Secondly, get married, or, get a girlfriend. You need a partner to be there with you. It’s only human of us to need one. Thirdly, grow up and get a bit of ambition. The hand-holding had to end some time, so now use the freedom to make the tough decisions. That’s what personal development is.
Pretty sure I am not alone. Perhaps I need to find people like me
Job/career is all according to plan its just the change in circumstances that’s bothering me, or so I think. *confused*
Thanks for dropping by!
There will always be a difference between ur life and mine…when ever i screw something my dad is there to give me a lecture
…i think u are to far for that. other than that…this is what lyf really is. trying to do lots of thing with small resources a person has when he starts a job.
I know u will do just fine…and yes Ali said right try to find a friend, not necessarily a girl, with whom u can share some of ur time, thought and burden. this will definitely help.
I do have friends to share with them but I don’t think burden can be shared. Eventually it has to come down to me, always.
finally u updated the blog!!!
congrats on ur new car ad ur new TV. i feel jealous already, there are no sports channels at home for me!!! i
and dude, thats how life is supposed to be, we have to grow up, no matter how much we hate it or how difficult it might be, thats how nature works. wish you all the best *prayers*
thanks
i know thats how it is supposed to be…all im saying is that its hard and its taking time to sink in
i know wat u mean..i guess i am going thru the same phase but for completely different reasons
car aur tv bhee agaya to ab shadi bhee karlo!! hahahaha
car and tv ka shaadi se kia taluq?
bohut bara ta’luq hai…u’l be bringing home someone who will use these two things far more than u would
naii…its for my own usage
yeh sab kuch mera hai 
That was me – 3 years ago.
Empty and not at the same time. I felt like I had everything and nothing. Everyone gave me the same advice as they’re giving you – more subtly because I’m a girl – ‘get married’.
The only solution I’ve found is to keep busy with extra curriculars. For me, it was learning the Quran online and at the Masjid. Then I moved around for work. I was then occupied with exploring a new country and family visiting me all the time. I picked up squash and other sports. Socialized and made lots of friends! My Eid’s became better than my parent’s eid’s in karachi
You get used to it eventually and you learn that nothing’s going to pop out of the walls you’re staring at.
Get up and go explore like you did in Scotland. Take up a hobby, find friends, learn something creative, actively search for a spouse.
Time alone is difficult but you can make good use of it. Try to make these the days you’ll smile while looking back at
*lots of dua*
Hmmm….i hardly move a muscle after coming back from work so extra curriculars and me?
I dunno how u managed it tbh, I just feel lost, completely.
Laziness naturally sets in when you come home from work. Hence, all my extra curriculars used to be right after work – I never bothered coming home. It builds stamina to do other things beside work. Over time you’ll realize that it keeps you more active throughout the day as well.
She is right…extra curricular activities can only be done right after work. Once u are home it will be hard for u to go out. i know its very hard for me.
Sadly I have no pearls of wisdom to offer!
Good luck though.
You are growing old my friend. Find a girl and get married. An adventure that should spice up your life!